Sigh.. Sometimes.. I really don't get what my parents wants. Well.. I actually do.. but.. they're demanding too much. Especially my mum.. It makes me totally hurt. I seriously don't like being at home. It's more than a jail than home. No.. I'd rather be in jail than being at home. Living at home seriously sucks. My mum would nag non-stop at me. Saying all the bad things about me, making me feel fustrated. I'll always try my best not to fight back and keep quiet as if nothing happened, so that I wouldn't hurt her. Well..I helped out during house work, but i knew I didn't manage to do as well as my bro, but I put in effort at least.. They'd just say everything good about my bro and say everything bad about me. What is this?.. Seriously, after they get to learn more about buddhism, my life, instead of getting better; seeing them acting more kindly, they went the other way round.. they scold me.. called me 没用, 不会做人, or something like that despite I helped them in their household work. Seriously, I don't sense the love I had at home anymore. I'd rather them not learning any buddhism things, it made them worst. That's y.. these days I'm very eager to go out, hang out with my friends. At least I sense quietness(no scoldings,no discriminations), peace, and have fun with my friends. I know that after that(next week), I'll be busy at work. There'll be lots of scolding and stuffs. How I wished school would start ealier. Sigh.. Now I'm seriously hurt. I just wish to get out of here. I just wish that I could just disperse and dissapear into thin air. I don't feel like living any longer. What a life.. Sigh..

An Empty heart..
just wished to be loved..

(I'll smile when I have an accident. I'll be glad.)